this DJ Blogs Himself

Kool Herc forgive me for I have sinned: I am obsessed with early 1980s Hip Hop from Germany. When the Breakdance craze first hit the old world through hit records played in GI nightclubs, everyone wanted in on the action, especially random Major-Label Schlager producers aiming to ride a wave they knew very little about. This mix between musical ambition, technical ineptitude and the obvious dissonance between the vibe of a regular 1980s German person (stuck up, rule-abiding, bad vibes) and the vibe of one of these early Hip Hop tracks (generally chill, good vibes) created some fascinating, often terrible music. But the very best of early German and European Hip Hop turns these disadvantages into strengths – its inadequacies in production, storytelling and technical prowess making it more real and charming. And few records are as charming as Wie wär’s mit Schulfreiem Montag? by Cora und die Popspatzen.

But in order to properly talk about this endearing record I want to bring up another record, with which Cora is in competition for the all-important title of “first German Hip Hop record ever released”. And of course,when I’m talking about Hip Hop, I mean that in the sense of Breakdancing, Scratching and colorful clothes just on the tail end of Disco, made for a society struggling to tell apart Kool & the Gang from Barry White. Well, while several records claim that spot for themselves (See for example: Cheeky’s “Erste Deutsche Scratch- & Break-Platte“), as far as I know there are two releases that actually compete for the title, having come out in the same month of 1980 – and both of them are novelty cover versions of extremely popular early Hip Hop tracks.

No. 1: Rapper’s Deutsch by G.L.S.-United

This particular record is somewhat dear to me, because it is the ultimate cash-grab novelty Breakdance record, which started flooding the German market around that time. It has so stunningly little reverence for Hip Hop and its origins that you have to kind of respect it. Basically, three then popular Radio- and TV-hosts, including a young Thomas Gottschalk who went on to become probably Germany’s most popular entertainer for a little while, “cover” Rapper’s Delight by the Sugarhill Gang. Meaning they rap their own vocals on top of the iconic backing track, in which they discuss the different types of Rock music they like. Frank Laufenberg likes 60s Beat, Manfred Sexauer likes 50s Rock’n’Roll, Thomas Gottschalk likes New Wave.

The whole thing is kind of a disaster, it sounds like they only did a few takes and none of the three have ever used their voice rhythmically in any capacity. However, Rapper’s Delight’s funky bassline and catchy progression carry even the most arrhythmic middle-aged Germans, so it somehow still goes down alright. However, I’ve not listened to my copy in probably around 6 years. If anything, I’ve pulled it out to show people that “Thomas Gottschalk, who we used to watch on television when we were children, made an early Hip Hop record, and it sucks!”. It exudes novelty on a scale so great that you don’t even need to play it.

No. 2: Wie wär’s mit Schulfreiem Montag? by Cora und die Popspatzen

Wie wär’s mit Schulfreiem Montag gives an insight into who record executives wanted to market Hip-Hop to at that time: Children. It is possibly the first in a long line of novelty Hip-Hop records for kids that were released in the first half of the 1980s. Pick up a random kids movie soundtrack or a compilation of children’s music from around that time, and chances are you will find a crisp drum computer pattern paired with slightly rap-adjacent vocals.

Cora is a young girl who relatably wants nothing more than taking Monday off. And in order to achieve that goal she covers Joe Bataan’s seminal Rap-O-Clap-O with her “Popspatzen” (Pop sparrows). This is probably top 5 in the “most charming records I own” bracket. Obviously, this is a presumably 9-year old girl. But she certainly delivers her rhymes better than all three middle-aged radio talk show hosts combined. The mundane topic of the vocals perfectly gels with the moody-yet-terribly-danceable chords of Bataan’s noodly Disco-Rap-Classic. The dissonant kids choir in the song’s chorus packs a punch. Everything might be slightly repetitive, but the song doesn’t overstay its welcome. A lot of people might wave their hand at this. But for a highly specific set of idiots, which includes me, it doesn’t get much better than this.

Funnily enough, I always thought that this release was produced as a cash-in by some seasoned producer on a Tuesday before moving on to the next NDW-Schlager, but actually the story is stranger: In 1970 Marcel Schaar contributed a few vocals for the Krautrock classic Delusion by Swiss band McChurch soundroom, then released his debut LP Dreams Consumed (Engineered by Kraut godfather Conny Plank!) to no one caring before he disappeared for a couple of years. He returned to RCA in 1977 with an LP by the aforementioned Popspatzen, which looks like it had little commercial traction. Three years later, out of nowhere, the Rap-O-Clap-O cover, which was possibly his last foray into publishing music. These days he apparently lives in Neu Wulmstorf in the north of Germany, where he fronts “the top band of the German country scene” and plays local events. As of eight years ago, he’s still publishing songs about pubic hair on his SoundCloud. Maybe I should drop him a message.

I am unsure how I first found out about Cora’s plea for the four day workweek, it might have been through some Facebook post, from which I added it to my Discogs Wantlist 9 years ago. Ever since, the 7” was out of my reach and high on my wantlist. Initially I just didn’t want to spend 25€ on a children’s record, then it just never showed up for sale and ballooned in price. Given that it was released on RCA it seems to be surprisingly rare, and in spite of its special-interest nature copies were always snatched up quickly. Yet, I just kept getting this damn song stuck in my head. And I don’t even like Rap-O-Clap-O that much, like it’s not even a top 10 Joe Bataan song. Sidenote: There is even another German cover version of Rap-O-Clap-O from 1980 but this one truly doesn’t hold the candle to Cora due to its very novel decision to have a fake opera singer sing the hook, which is not to say that I don’t own it for archival purposes.

Either way, ages passed and I had given up hope on a copy. I started digging further into electronic music, faded out my regular bar gigs, which I used to do every other weekend for cab fare and unlimited fancy cocktails all over Berlin, and with that pretty much stopped buying 7”s altogether. The chance to get in on Cora and her Popspatzen seemed past. UNTIL I turned 30.

For that occasion I organised a little outdoor rave around that classic Open Air spot at Jungfernheide, invited all my friends, and had an absolute blast. At that party, my dear old friend Max Harder aka Wachs Max aka Discoprinz aka one of the nicest people I ever met showed up with not one but two gifts. While the music was playing and people were sniffing drugs laying about on blankets in the dust, Max first handed me a book. It was the legendary Berlin Graffiti-biography Odem – On The Run. I had never actually owned a copy, but this book had still been foundational to my teen fascination with painting things. This was already an insanely great and thoughtful gift. And then, this madman whips out Cora Und Die Popspatzen – Wie Wärs Mit Schulfreiem Montag? and my mind is blown. Like, I knew that he had a copy, but this was a 100€ record at that point.

Since I have received this, I have to be honest, I have only played it a couple of times at home. I just rarely get the chance to play this kind of music out at the moment. However, I feel like by owning this forever-want, I ALMOST closed the chapter on my obsession with collecting early German rap rares — even though I know there is much more to discover, of course. Now all I need to find is a copy of “Ich bin Durchsichtig” and then I am sure there will not be another record to obsess over ever again.

PS: Oh, the B-side I was very excited to listen to since from what I can tell it was never uploaded anywhere. Was it going to be another banger? In short, no, it’s a serviceable country-tinged melancholic kids song about travelling the world. It’s fine, really.